Below are the 5 most recent journal entries recorded in oxymoronicidiot's LiveJournal:

Friday, November 2nd, 2007
1:20 am	fucking rant. learn to fuckin appreciate you dumb assholes. oh yea, and chris irritates me more and more every day. i'm so fucking sick of everyone's excuses and self pity. people aren't even mad at the things they can't help, they're mad and pissy about the things they CAN change but refuse to. probably because they love to have a reason to suffer. because everyone loves one upping each other when it comes to their pain. well fuck that shit. nothing is perfect. my life isn't perfect. i still cry. sometimes (a lot of times) i still have the urge to bleed for no fucking reason. but overall, i'm happy. now, if you have a real reason to be upset, i'll mourn with you... but most of these people... their so upset because their life isn't as glamorous as they feel it should be... it's not a fucking movie...everyone has the power to shape their own life. if they'd stop being pussIES. if they'd stop making up bullshit excuses. if they stopped acting like the whole fucking world was against them. life isn't a bad thing. shit happens. bad AND good. and getting through the bad makes the good times all the sweeter. plus, most of the time you have to make your own good times. you have to work with what you've got and not worry about what others have that you don't. it's not about keeping score. fuck all of you who can't see that. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, October 30th, 2007
11:31 pm	just feeling the need to repeat myself. i'm so in love, it's nauseating. oh, and the conversations have taken a turn from "if we get married" to "when we get married" and the fact that it doesn't freak me out is freaking me out. I actually talked to my dad about this shit today... The only thing that was missing from our relationship was that I felt I wasn't being supported in my decisions and my ego wasn't being fed enough via compliments (I don't give a shit if fucking bum #1 or #2 on the damned corner thinks I'm hot, the only compliments that matter to me are the ones that come from loved ones.) and well... after talking about it and admitting to both necessities, i've been getting exactly what I've really truly always wanted out of a relationship : love, caring, understanding, security, and someone who doesn't need other shit to keep them busy while they're with me, someone who is content just sitting at home barefoot on a sunday and vegging out. someone who prefers the occasional day out to the occasional day in. i'm a cancer, and we really are homebody's and in that sense, we're very alike. but at the same time, he's someone who will agree to go somewhere just because he knows i want to go there really badly, even if it's not his idea of an awesome day out. i really think he's amazing. and i finally feel like he knows it... and i finally feel.... loved. (Comment on this)
Thursday, October 25th, 2007
1:12 am	the last few days, have showed me more than i thought. I'm sorry for thinking the worst... because I'm finally starting to see that you DO want the same things I do and that most of your anger is really just your stupid ass way of not sounding like a pussy by saying that you'll miss me. Please sound like a pussy. I can understand pussy talk. I can't understand asshole talk. I understand you hate when i keep things from you. especially since you've never hidden anything from me. i'll try to stop. but it's just who i am. i'll try to be more open.... the more we talk to each other the more i realize that our core's are more similar than i ever realized.... even though the way we express it is much much different. tell me why you're saying everything i'm thinking.... this scares me... it's getting to a point where i think it just may be too good to be true....and usually that means it is.... i'm... terrified. jess, he's really not as bad as i've made him seem. no, he's not perfect. yes,he's got a temper. so do you. yes, he picks stupid fights sometimes. but he also lets things go if you give him some time to really think things over. he realizes when a fight is stupid, it just takes him a couple of days. yes, he has made me cry. so have many many other people. i'm a very sensitive person. no, he couldn't make up his mind in the beginning of the relationship, but you've got to give him credit for making the right decision eventually. by the way, even though you hate him and he hates you for hating him despite the fact that you really don't know him, he'd kill for you if it made me happy. maybe that doesn't mean much to you, but it means a lot to me. a LOT. plus, he'd never lay a hand on me to hurt me. ever. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, July 20th, 2006
4:40 pm	oh livejournal... how i've neglected thee... now i have a reason to come back... all entries after this will be friends only. thankyouverymuchpleasedie. (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, February 20th, 2006
12:10 pm	Mother Fucker.... ok... so i realized what's wrong with my relationship. there's no trust, but we're too comfortable around each other. he slapped me last night for calling him a bitch... it wasn't hard... not head turning, but it stung mildly... a year ago i don't think he would have dared do that... but who knows.... i slapped him back and said don't fucking slap me! and he did it again and i slapped him back again and said seriously, stop it! if you ever slap me again- *the hardest slap of the three* "what?? are you going to finish your sentence?*plafully*" "i said don't hit me" I was laughing while i said it... note to all people in the world: just because someone is smiling while they say something doesn't mean that they're any less serious... had i not been laughing at the situation unfolding before me i may have been horribly terrified... i mean, i can understand one play slap for another... but... i dunno... this situation irked me a lot... they say that it starts off small... i refuse to be battered and i guess i'm scared that in time, he'll have no problem attempting such... such anger issues that boy has... and i can't stand for bs like that... though.. maybe i'm just looking for excuses... i'm desperately trying to find meaning in my life and in my relationships.. i'm desperately trying to figure out if i can hold everything together and if that's the best thing to do... i really don't know... there's so much i need to see and do before i settle down... going to school with him... that'll be settling down... i'm conflicted... part of me LOVES the idea of going off and living with him and his 2 friends... only one of which i like but he's awesome... but then on the other... i need to... uhg.. i can't even say it. Current Mood: confused (Comment on this)